6 months...

6 months ago I left my country once more to start working in a new place. This time I got a job in a studfarm in the northern Germany. It's one of the most famous studfarms in the world and also one of the biggest. And this would be my second job. When I left, in the begining of February, my heart was tight with the nervousism of saying goodbye again and hoping this would be a better experience than my previous job, but also some excitement for the new experience. Experience that brought me some of the best and worst things of my life. 

To work in the biggest stud farm of the world has its price. I can say that I had never worked so hard in my life. Until exhaustion. I can say that in these 6 months I worked there, I had maybe 4 or 5 days off and I worked in average 15/16h per day. The system was crazy. I didn't really adapt well. They really abused of us. I was in a house without internet and TV. Almost no time for myself. Almost no time for family and friends. Almost no time to enjoy Germany. And I met some of the best and the worst people I could have in my life. 

 Professionaly it was very good, I can say that I learnt a lot and I gained some good experience. Since I arrived I worked in the post-partum stable, which means that me and my colleagues were responsible for the management of the mares who had just foaled. It was a hardworking task, specially in the peak of the season when we had more than 80 mares a day sometimes. But, together, we did it. We had good days and bad days. Sometimes we had fun, sometimes we had fights. A good friendship teared apart. But we all gave our best. And I loved my job. 

We lived in a small village in the northern Germany called Neustadt-Glewe. It's very small and quiet, but I loved it. The houses, the streets, the castle. The Rossmann and the Eiscafe Rudolfo! Small escapes of our crazy routine that made us so happy! The Goa Pizza and its delicious Marimara! I miss some of the girls so much. The lake. I loved that lake. 

When I left, in August, my contract had expired and I was pretty sure I wanted to leave. I felt angry and wronged. I felt physically and emotionally destroyed. I felt useless sometimes. I've always known that I was never one of the favourites of my boss. It hurted me and I found so unfair the way they could judge someone's work and value after so much hardwork, dedication and time spent there. But now, when I look back, I feel lucky and in peace. I was one of the fewest who could pass through different areas, work with different vets and learn from them all. I made really good friendships. I met M. I know that, when I left, their opinion and what they think of me will stay there, with them, and I will go on with my life and keep learning. I feel in peace because I know I invested all my energy in my work and in myself. I never cared about the other's work and mistakes, I never directed energy at all to judge the others, compare myself with the girls and criticise their conduct. I didn't think too much about my boss's opinion of me. I just foccused on me and on my job. And i'm very proud of that. I know that we can never please everybody. And some people will always talk something about us. But other people's opinion about us is their problem, not ours. I am more determinated and I know what I want, I know me better. I learnt to be steady in my decisions and I don't care for a second of what the others think of me. To judge is always so easy. I feel in peace because I know I always gave my best. And I still have so much to learn... 

I don't know what the future will bring me. After 6 months in Germany i'm back in Portugal at the same point, but a totally different person.